12:26 p.m. - 2008-03-27
The Return of ToolShack
Lani called me this morning. She met a new man, courtesy of me, who I met courtesy of Tucker... anyway. She & new man, The Warped One (his chosen nickname, apt) are going out to dinner and having lots of conversation and a little bit of etcetera. But not the full bit of etcetera--Lani is swearing off of that for a while. Not unreasonable, as her first two were... sub-optimal choices, emotionally.
For Lani and WarpedOne's first date (Saturday before Easter), they went to the "improv" theatre show at Lani's campus. Who did they see there but--ToolShack! Which made Lani go all tense & the WarpedOne join my anti-ToolShack campaign. But ToolShack didn't make contact that night.
Monday or Tuesday, Lani declared herself "in a relationship" on her MySpace page. Last night, she gets a phone call. Hoping it was someone calling about a theatre job, she answered without checking caller ID first. Alas, it was not potential employment, but ToolShack. "oh, hi, (ToolShack). No, I'm doing this thing tonight, and then this other thing. OK, thanks for calling, bye." While I'm giddy that she didn't make plans with him and deleted his number immediately, I'm spitting angry with ToolShack. Behold, the e-mail I sent to WarpedOne after learning of ToolShack's call:
I want to beat ToolShack.
I want to beat him like Stewart Copeland beat drums during the Police's induction to the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame. I want to go to (GeekFest) now just to plot and scheme his legal destruction with (VampireSEAL) & Herr Kantankerous, presuming Herr Kantankerous shows up. I figure if anyone can come up with a lawful and evil way to hoze someone, it's him.
And have you checked out ToolShack's profile?? Someone needs to give the boy a PHD, because he writes like a stinkin' academic. As in, his writing stinks. And he's pretentious. And arrogant. And evil. And I want to beat him like Stewart Copeland beats drums. Yeah, I'll rumble his fish head....
****************
Not that I would actually inflict physical harm on this person. I'm not that type. I'm not even sure I'd pray for God to smite him. I'm just going to wait patiently for Benny to get his come-uppance and be trapped in the pyramid with a horde of hungry scarab beetles. Well, I'll wait as patiently as I can. grumblemutterToolShackmuttersweartwitheadgrumbleswear
Sniveling little fool!! I hope WarpedOne is out with Lani and makes ToolShack feel a fool. I hope ToolShack comes to her graduation so I can snub him after smiling sweetly. I hope he gets his arse shaved with a dull woman's razor by a chimpanzee.
